Move along, there's nothing to see here

I recently saw this Moveon.org ad on TV:



This is the worst ad I've seen in this election cycle. It looks like a teenager put it together on a MacAir over the weekend.

I suppose the the message is that McCain has something to do with some people who had something to do with the financial crisis and supports Bush's $700 billion bailout. To emphasize the point, the figure of $700 billion moves across the screen, Atari 2600-style, across the screen. To emphasize the point even more, the $700 billion figure turns red. Is this a sign of danger? A statement that it's more red ink? A higher level statement that it's red ink borrowed from Red China.

How exactly does this ad help to defeat McCain? Obama is more likely to support the bailout than McCain. It wouldn't surprise me if McCain goes populist by opposing the bailout in order to stir up the race--my least favorite phrase of 2008, "game-changer."

Also, the ad has so...many...words...can't...pay...attention. Jeez! These liberals are too damn cerebral. Can't they just play to the reptile mind of the undecided American voter? Fight or flight, fear and loathing, right and wrong.

The Republicans knew how to tear down Kerry with those Swift Boat ads. They didn't just make Kerry look bad, they destroyed his credibility and the basis for his candidacy. McCain's support of the war and other things he's said and done in public life have more than enough material to bring him down without resorting to the lies of the Swift Boaters. This ad just doesn't do anything to defeat McCain. It was a waste of money.

The Obama people were correct to try to dissuade Democratic donors from supporting outside organization like Moveon. This Politico article puts forth several arguments why the Obama campaign steered Democratic donors away from outside groups: Legal defense against charges of illegal coordination, their ties to the Clintons, a power grab, to ensure his brand of "new politics," and "message discipline." This Moveon ad shows the virtues of message discipline.

Update: So the bailout plan failed today. Since a majority of the Democrats in the House voted for it, I don't understand why Moveon would attack the measure and McCain's apparent support of it. Maybe I missed it, but I still don't know where Obama was on this bill. Since Pelosi indicated in the big White House meeting that Obama would speak for the Democrats, it is presumable that they wouldn't have reached a deal with the White House and congressional Republicans unless they cleared it with Obama. The McCain campaign apparently took credit for the deal before it failed. Oops.

An Era Ends

1992 Red Honda Civic, 17, died of distributor failure and was not revived under a DNR. A brief funeral service was held at 10th Street Auto Repair in northeast Washington, DC, on September 12, 2008. Its carcass will be donated to the Melwood charity in Upper Marlboro, MD. The family requests donations to the Obama campaign in lieu of flowers.

***

I drove that motherfucker into the ground. I had this car for 17 years, but today I made the decision to let it go.

After seeing it in use in recent years, all my old college and high school friends would say the same thing: "Whoa! You still have that car?" Damn straight I still had that car. That car was pretty much the one constant in my life over 17 years, almost half my life.

It was showing its age. The original red color of my vintage Wesleyan decal was now white.



The outside showed more dents as oversized SUVs probably banged into it on a regular basis on the city streets of DC.



Even The Club looked banged up. I wore out the display of my radio/tape deck. The volume control knob has been missing since the 2nd Clinton Administration. On long rides, the seats ceased to be comfortable for my older, surgically repaired back. I put $4000 into this old car over the last 3 years for things like radiator repairs and a new parts such as a water pump, timing belt, and starter.

I knew something was wrong on Sunday when it stalled at a red light in Columbia Heights. But it started right up and we got home just fine. On Monday morning it wouldn't start. I got a ticket for being parked illegally on a street cleaning day, but I'll contest that one and win. That night AAA towed it to 10th Street Auto Repair, the finest mechanics on Capitol Hill. Wednesday I got the diagnosis: New distributor needed. Cost: Over $600.

I decided months ago that that was it, no more major money was going into this car. I had told my wife that $250 was my limit. Before I got the diagnostic results, I considered doubling that amount, but $600 is too much. I needed to let the car go.

I had a lot of good times in that car. I hope many others did, too.

In 1996, Brett and I took a cross-country trip in the middle of winter over the northernmost part of the country. In retrospect, I'm surprised we made it alive. I-80 in Pennsylvania closed due to freezing rain, but we kept on going and slept in the car in the parking lot of a Wawa. Classy, I know!

After stopping in Chicago, we saw Ethan and Whitney in Minneapolis and then stayed in some crazy trucker motor lodge in North Dakota. We still think that waitress totally would have gone to the West Coast with us if we asked her.

The highlight of the trip was watching the first three quarters of the Super Bowl with the entire population of some small town near Steele, ND. We stopped for gas near kickoff time and some guy wearing a t-shirt in below zero weather said, "you guys going to the Super Bowl party? Come on!" So we followed him into a bar, ate a free buffet dinner, and talked with the waitress as we watched the game. She asked about crime on the East Coast and noted that they don't have any in North Dakota because of vigilante justice. I don't recall why we left before the game was over, but I do remember listening to the game on the radio as Neil O'Donnell threw a 4th quarter interception to seal the win for the damn Cowboys.

We flew through Montana at a 100+ mph pace in great weather. Montana was easy, but driving over the Idaho mountains in January? That's scary stuff in a Honda Civic. Every other car's tires seemed to have chains. But we survived and a day later, we arrived in Portland and stayed with Suzanna and Emily for a while. Good times.

The lowest point came in 1999. I needed to move furniture and other stuff to DC right before starting my first job out of law school. Jeff Lev, who lived in DC at the time, needed to attend a cousin's bar mitzvah in Rockville County, NY, that weekend, so I believe we drove up to NJ together and he took the car to NY and would drive it back to DC while I rented a U-Haul for the furniture.

The U-Haul I rented was a dud. The timing belt broke on I-95 a little north of Baltimore. The U-Haul company's 24-hour emergency response service left me for dead. I waited for hours without food or water. I was going crazy and losing cell phone power fast. My pet snake, Molotov, was disturbed by the vibrations caused by thousands of vehicles whizzing by. Jeff didn't have a cell phone, but I figured he'd drive by soon. I looked and looked in a northerly direction for a red Honda. Finally I saw it! I saw my red Honda! I jumped up and down, waved my arms like a madman, and saw Jeff's face. I saw Jeff's face looking straight ahead, paying no mind to the deranged lunatic next to the broken down U-Haul carrying an unhappy king snake. Brutal! Definitely the lowest point in car ownership.

I have a few stats I'd like to share about this car:

Miles: 107,664.



Most miles on one tank of gas: 464 miles ending near Akron, Ohio in 1995. Ethan was my witness. I recently, just to prove a point, got 440 miles on one, much more expensive, tank.

States: 31

Least favorite distinguishing characteristic: Permanent stain of Chinese brown sauce caused the worst speaker ever invited to Wesleyan University. Ask Christianne for details.



Runner up: Mo's cigarette burn (1995).



Speeding tickets incurred: 4 (3 mine, 1 by brother Jordy)

Most listened to CD (or whatever they're called these days) (unofficial statistic): Nothing's Shocking.

Speaking of Jane's, if this is your tape and you want to claim it, I have it.



# of times having sex in car: Zero, but I really thought I was close a few times. (Readership: now's the time to fess up if you ever used it for that purpose).

One final note. Before driving back east in 1996, I stopped in Berkeley to see Damian. As a parting gift, he generously gave me a copy of Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez thinking that I'd like it. The book stayed in the car. After a certain number of years, I decided that the book was just meant to stay in the car. Maybe the book can explain why this is so, but I wouldn't know because I haven't read it. I will read it now. I think I owe it to the car for 17 years of fun, freedom, and reliable service.