1992 Red Honda Civic, 17, died of distributor failure and was not revived under a DNR. A brief funeral service was held at 10th Street Auto Repair in northeast Washington, DC, on September 12, 2008. Its carcass will be donated to the Melwood charity in Upper Marlboro, MD. The family requests donations to the Obama campaign in lieu of flowers.
***
I drove that motherfucker into the ground. I had this car for 17 years, but today I made the decision to let it go.
After seeing it in use in recent years, all my old college and high school friends would say the same thing: "Whoa! You still have that car?" Damn straight I still had that car. That car was pretty much the one constant in my life over 17 years, almost half my life.
It was showing its age. The original red color of my vintage Wesleyan decal was now white.
The outside showed more dents as oversized SUVs probably banged into it on a regular basis on the city streets of DC.
Even The Club looked banged up. I wore out the display of my radio/tape deck. The volume control knob has been missing since the 2nd Clinton Administration. On long rides, the seats ceased to be comfortable for my older, surgically repaired back. I put $4000 into this old car over the last 3 years for things like radiator repairs and a new parts such as a water pump, timing belt, and starter.
I knew something was wrong on Sunday when it stalled at a red light in Columbia Heights. But it started right up and we got home just fine. On Monday morning it wouldn't start. I got a ticket for being parked illegally on a street cleaning day, but I'll contest that one and win. That night AAA towed it to 10th Street Auto Repair, the finest mechanics on Capitol Hill. Wednesday I got the diagnosis: New distributor needed. Cost: Over $600.
I decided months ago that that was it, no more major money was going into this car. I had told my wife that $250 was my limit. Before I got the diagnostic results, I considered doubling that amount, but $600 is too much. I needed to let the car go.
I had a lot of good times in that car. I hope many others did, too.
In 1996, Brett and I took a cross-country trip in the middle of winter over the northernmost part of the country. In retrospect, I'm surprised we made it alive. I-80 in Pennsylvania closed due to freezing rain, but we kept on going and slept in the car in the parking lot of a Wawa. Classy, I know!
After stopping in Chicago, we saw Ethan and Whitney in Minneapolis and then stayed in some crazy trucker motor lodge in North Dakota. We still think that waitress totally would have gone to the West Coast with us if we asked her.
The highlight of the trip was watching the first three quarters of the Super Bowl with the entire population of some small town near Steele, ND. We stopped for gas near kickoff time and some guy wearing a t-shirt in below zero weather said, "you guys going to the Super Bowl party? Come on!" So we followed him into a bar, ate a free buffet dinner, and talked with the waitress as we watched the game. She asked about crime on the East Coast and noted that they don't have any in North Dakota because of vigilante justice. I don't recall why we left before the game was over, but I do remember listening to the game on the radio as Neil O'Donnell threw a 4th quarter interception to seal the win for the damn Cowboys.
We flew through Montana at a 100+ mph pace in great weather. Montana was easy, but driving over the Idaho mountains in January? That's scary stuff in a Honda Civic. Every other car's tires seemed to have chains. But we survived and a day later, we arrived in Portland and stayed with Suzanna and Emily for a while. Good times.
The lowest point came in 1999. I needed to move furniture and other stuff to DC right before starting my first job out of law school. Jeff Lev, who lived in DC at the time, needed to attend a cousin's bar mitzvah in Rockville County, NY, that weekend, so I believe we drove up to NJ together and he took the car to NY and would drive it back to DC while I rented a U-Haul for the furniture.
The U-Haul I rented was a dud. The timing belt broke on I-95 a little north of Baltimore. The U-Haul company's 24-hour emergency response service left me for dead. I waited for hours without food or water. I was going crazy and losing cell phone power fast. My pet snake, Molotov, was disturbed by the vibrations caused by thousands of vehicles whizzing by. Jeff didn't have a cell phone, but I figured he'd drive by soon. I looked and looked in a northerly direction for a red Honda. Finally I saw it! I saw my red Honda! I jumped up and down, waved my arms like a madman, and saw Jeff's face. I saw Jeff's face looking straight ahead, paying no mind to the deranged lunatic next to the broken down U-Haul carrying an unhappy king snake. Brutal! Definitely the lowest point in car ownership.
I have a few stats I'd like to share about this car:
Miles: 107,664.
Most miles on one tank of gas: 464 miles ending near Akron, Ohio in 1995. Ethan was my witness. I recently, just to prove a point, got 440 miles on one, much more expensive, tank.
States: 31
Least favorite distinguishing characteristic: Permanent stain of Chinese brown sauce caused the worst speaker ever invited to Wesleyan University. Ask Christianne for details.
Runner up: Mo's cigarette burn (1995).
Speeding tickets incurred: 4 (3 mine, 1 by brother Jordy)
Most listened to CD (or whatever they're called these days) (unofficial statistic): Nothing's Shocking.
Speaking of Jane's, if this is your tape and you want to claim it, I have it.
# of times having sex in car: Zero, but I really thought I was close a few times. (Readership: now's the time to fess up if you ever used it for that purpose).
One final note. Before driving back east in 1996, I stopped in Berkeley to see Damian. As a parting gift, he generously gave me a copy of Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez thinking that I'd like it. The book stayed in the car. After a certain number of years, I decided that the book was just meant to stay in the car. Maybe the book can explain why this is so, but I wouldn't know because I haven't read it. I will read it now. I think I owe it to the car for 17 years of fun, freedom, and reliable service.
8 comments:
is now the time to say that once i borrowed your car, had sex in it (by myself) while I listened to Jane's track 3 ("had a dad"), read a few passages of GGM, and had some delicious post-coital chinese food in the back seat?
Cause i wouldn't want to admit this if people are still using the car.
a fond farewell to the mighty motoring maroon... I think Aenema might have made a run for most played as well
Least favorite tape left in car by someone who borrowed it: "The Grand Illusion," by STYX
I know I was beaten to the punch long ago on this one, but "I can't believe you were still driving that car." The Civic brought me faithfully to countless bouts of the good life up and down the tri-state area (with a few forays farther north) for most of the years of college. I remember it typically filled to clown-car capacity with people hung with the funk of a fresh dip in a hot tub and a night at some dingy club in NY. I think I'm most proud of the fact that none of my stains made the top list, though that car certainly is in my tops.
Most of all, that a fond and extremely well used machine can last all the way back to when I was still baby faced makes it all not seem so terribly long ago. Taking me back: the Civic's last ride. Thanks.
I am utterly devastated. I saw an ancient purple Civic just last week and thought of you.
Where can I get an "I heart nuclear war" bumper sticker?
"y'all are from New Jersey, right? Wanna know how I knew that???"
There's something fitting that the car with the "No Bushit" sticker drove it's last mile during the last days of a second Bush administration. Soon, no Bushit, indeed.
If you didn't tell the story when you got stranded, I was. On the bright side of getting older and moving into the future, we all have cell phones, texts, emails, tweets, posts, etc. these days.
RIP
Jeff Lev
I, too, am shocked that the ol' girl was still running, and am saddened to hear of her demise.
I remember fondly getting all those miles from the one tank of gas (two tanks from Teaneck, NJ, to Evanston, IL - not too shabby). If I recall, Seth, you and I arrived at Evanston at about 3am and then proceeded to sleep in the car, right across the street from Emily's house. As a car, she was a champ, but as a bed, she had many superior rivals.
I raise a glass of transmission fluid to the memory of this fine automobile.
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